Cold feet

Nervous

Waking up to a pit in stomach at four in the morning, Sammy’s life flashed in front of her eyes. List of men she dated her adult life did not fall short to prove the fun she had. Many came and left but one stuck by. She said he is the love of her life, or maybe she was just desperate to settle and be a part of the norm. Her sister was married with a child by her age, and 2 of her cousin sisters and a cousin brother were on the same boat while she was just now about to get her happily ever after.

As she pondered on the man she has to sleep next to for the rest of her life and the man she has to go on dates with for the rest of her life, she was nervous. She was so nervous that she saw the open window of her room, at this beautiful country inn, as an escape route to a world where being normal was abnormal, where settling because you had reached a certain age was wrong. She thought of going through with it; and out of courtesy she started writing a note for the groom, which said,

“Oh honey, I am terribly sorry, to be finally answering your question and I am sorry for doing it this way. The answer to your question is that I am not in love with you, not enough to be able to marry you till death does us apart. I am in love with you but not enough to have a monogamous relation and looking at our past, definitely not enough to believe that you will forever be in a monogamous relation, …”

As she was about to sign off and leave, her mother, Timmy, came inside the room. Timmy snatched the paper out of her daughter’s hand knowing the dilemma Sammy had been going through in the past week, leading up to this day. Sammy was shivering from the cold air in the room as Timmy read what was about to be a disaster. Timmy raged with anger and called her a disappointment, but right that moment she realized the sensitivity of the matter, and Timmy calmed herself to put some sense into her frustrating daughter.

Timmy sat Sammy down and held her hand. Timmy looked at her with the patronizing eyes and listed all the failures Sammy had faced in her life. The choices that lead her to failures came in front of her. Looking at those failures Sammy’s husband to be became a trophy to be earned. Sammy cried and tried to reason but her mother’s witty approach had brought Sammy back to where she was a week ago. Timmy had a spell on her daughter that Sammy could not break no matter how hard she tried to rebel. She was once again in love with her fiancé and felt blessed to have him.

She went through with the marriage but did it last?

Nervous Cold Feet

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